I Insist That I Must Marry You
by Cream Puff Thief
Summary: Harry likes the Dark Lord. They've gone on many outings (fights, but who's telling?). They even have a connection between them (horcruxes). So the next logical step must be marriage, right? Or- as Severus Snape says- "I'm not paid enough for this." or Harry chasing after Tom instead of the other way around. Watch out, Tom. Harry's got his eyes on you... (Cover credit to artist.)
1. Chapter 1

Ch. 1

"I have come to ask Lord Voldemort for courtship with the intentions of bonding," Harry said with a smirk.

Lucius Malfoy's mouth fell open in shock as he went paler than he already was.

Bellatrix's eyes widened as her scream to curse at Harry fell silent.

Regulus fainted in the background.

Many other Death Eaters also fainted or fell over in shock. One particular masked individual with greasy black hair just smacked his palm to his forehead, forgetting about the mask.

Hermione sighed exasperatedly, her head tipped backwards in defeat.

Ron, on the other side of Harry, gave Harry an incredulous stare that asked his Harry was off his rockers.

In a way, Harry mused off-handedly as he paid attention to Voldemort, his emerald eyes never leaving shocked rubies.

Harry tipped his head slightly to the side in seemingly innocent confusion as the minutes passed. "Well? Shall we talk this over?"

Voldemort flew out of his trance, yelling "POTTER!"

Harry smirked, a very predatorial gleam in his eyes. The cutting emeralds traced Voldemort's _very fine _figure, his mind supplied, and openly ogled the Dark Lord.

"Save that for the honeymoon, dear!" Harry cheerily said, now forcing many more Inner and Outer circle Death Eaters to faint.

The greasy haired hooded figure in the back only smacked his head harder with his palm now, muttering in the confusion "I'm not paid enough for this."

A/N: tehe! I wanted to write one where Harry is the chaser, not Tom. So- here you go? Another crack fic and so plot holes will exist. No betas.


	2. Chapter 2

CH.2

Harry sat down in his plush, conjured seat, staring at Voldemort with love-sick eyes. He wiggled in his seat and then gave a great sigh of admiration, adoration, and contentedness.

"I could stare at you all day long, my dear lord, if only you will let me." Harry whispered out, but the sentence echoed in the silent room of Voldemort, his inner circle, and the golden trio.

Ron cringed. "He's in his sappy mode, so sorry, Voldemort."

Bellatrix lunged for Harry and Ron. "Disrespecting my Lord! How dare you, I'll CRU-"

Voldemort stopped Bellatrix in her tracks with a well-aimed glare. He turned back to Harry.

"Speak, Potter, and you may even get to leave alive." Voldemort grounded out as it was clear that Harry was still opting to give him googly-eyes. It made Voldemort uncomfortable and uneasy. His arch-nemesis had to be doing for a reason, right? Potter must be trying to trip him with this declaration of live. _But jokes on them_, Voldemort thought, his confidence soaring back up as he realized what Harry was trying to do. _I won't fall for your measly underhanded tricks of seduction. I am Lord Voldemort- I have no emotions and will not be blindsided by such a silly thing like _love _of all things. _

Voldemort congratulated himself mentally as he thought that he saw through the ruse.

Harry's dopey smile only grew more as he saw the shocked Voldemort ease back into the dominant and cold Voldemort he knew. _But both austere and cocky Voldemort and confused Voldemort are very cute!~ _Harry thought, sighing again with love. "How cute~"

Again, for the third time now, and you've must have known that it had been Severus Snape all along, crossed his arms and put his index and thumb together to the middle of his furled brows and hooked nose as a show of exasperation.

At this rate, all Harry is going to do is sigh at Voldemort. Oh Merlin.


	3. Chapter 3

ch. 3

"...so you see, these are why you should abandon your goals of taking over the wizarding world and why you should agree to negotiate with us." Hermione finished with a flourish, her eyes bright as she finally revealed their plans and months of work to the Dark company.

Hermione, Ron, and Harry knew that Voldemort had to accept it anyhow. His hands were tied.

The entire time that Hermione and Ron explained their reason for coming by, Voldemort had been quiet and contemplative. His eyes and demeanor had scared Ron and Hermione, but they refused to be cowed. Besides- Harry liked him. There had to be a reason why that Harry fell for him so. They didn't think tag Harry was really into the whole pureblood propaganda and torturing, so that left one thing: Voldemort had to have some type of good bone or trait in him that made Harry take notice.

For a another few minutes, Voldemort stayed silent as the talk swirled in his brain. Harry stayed in his dream-like state.

"...and why should I ever want to join forces with you? There is nothing that you can give me to make me desire so." Voldemort hissed out, his calm face now downturned into a hideous snarl. "You imbeciles dare to tell me what to do? You, blood-traitor, filthy mud-blood, and boy wonder, _dare have the audacity_ to sway my ideas!"

Voldemort finished with a yell, hands gripping his throne tightly. His thick, dark magic swirling tightly around the large room, making his Death Eaters feel claustrophobic. The magic was angry and snapping, for Voldemort had released it so quickly and so much, that it took on physical manifestations- lightning was literally cracking near him.

A few inner circle jumped out of the way from fear of electrocution.

A sharp motion to his restless Death Eaters told them to capture the fools, and to leave Harry to him.

But before anyone could react, Harry's eyes hardened from its fluffy state and he released his own magic. Whereas Voldemort's took on lightning characteristics, Harry's was windy. The air turned swirled with a great gale that came from no where and it had a cold quality to it that chilled the already claustrophobicd Death eaters. The powerful influx of magic on both sides made many faint, even Ron and Hermione, whom had great reserves of magic themselves, felt the pressure and buckled under the weight of magic. The chandelier that brightened the room broke under the stress, setting the hall in darkness.

Some screamed and started shouting spells in the dark, forgetting that a good lighting charm would have sufficed to see.

But Harry and Voldemort didn't seem to notice anything outside their field of visions: each other. Harry's eyes took on a Avada Kedavra hue that glowed in the dark while Voldemort's red eyes glowed an equally bright if dark colored ruby. Like blood rubies.

Harry could feel Voldemort's power and aura and it made his almost lose his composure. It felt so powerful and dominant, Harry wanted to give in. The way that Voldemort's magic slid effortlessly against his and mingled together was like fire licking down his spine- it felt pleasurable as the magic was tinged with fury.

Voldemort, on the other hand, suddenly had a flash of fear. To think that a 19 year old brat prophesied to defeat him has this much power as such a young age. Even he, as older and experienced he was, knew that he would have trouble taking the brat down. Voldemort's fears, however, was also tinged with a new emotion that he hadn't felt for a long time- Desire. Potter's magic easily mugged with his as lighting and wind formed a storm-like scene around them. The ozone was thick in between them. The brat's magic also felt comforting though, as if they were meant to be near.

Voldemort shock off this thought though. "Preposterous," he muttered quietly. He had no time to dilly while Potter was still giving him the ice cold glare that had formed from the puppy-dog look of before.

Harry straightened his spine and like the powerful wizard he was, strode purposefully towards Voldemort. Harry's permanently disheveled hair swept in the wind as his confident gait belied his anger.

Voldemort, for some unknown reason, let Harry walk towards him until they had only a feet in between them.

Harry's face now broke into an even crueler smile that even touched the shriveled heart of Voldemort.

There was a maniac gleam that twinkled in Harry's eyes as he stood less than feet apart from his generation's Dark Lord. Harry's heart thumped wildly with excitement and fear as he said these words that sealed Voldemort's agreement to their plan.

Harry took another step that put one of his legs in between Voldemort's legs on the throne and leaned downwards to reach his ear. His hair brushing lightly against Voldemort's non-existing nose and cheek.

"I've got them all, Tom," Harry whispered into his ear darkly with a chuckle. "_I've got all your horcruxes_."

A/N: :0 I didn't mean for it to get dark. I mean...It was supposed to be a 10 min writing sesh that became 25 minutes.


End file.
